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The Life You Didn't Plan – Cheryl Kennedy MacDonald
New book coming August 2026: The Life You Didn't Plan Join the book list
Cheryl Kennedy MacDonald  /  Coming August 2026

The Life You Didn't Plan

Why Women Were Taught to Make Love the Whole Story and How to Rewrite It

For women who have done the work, built the life, and still find love, men, marriage or being chosen taking up more room than they would like to admit.

You may be clever, capable, financially independent and emotionally literate. You may know all the right words: boundaries, attachment, self-worth, nervous system, patterns.

And still, one silence can unsettle you.

Coming August 2026  ·  Available on Amazon
The Life You Didn't Plan – book cover Cheryl Kennedy MacDonald
"Love is welcome in the story. It just does not get to be the whole plot."
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Deeply Researched

The cultural, family and psychological scripts that teach women to make love the whole story.

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Psychologically Grounded

Insight into attachment, self-worth and nervous system patterns that live in the body long after the mind knows better.

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For Women in Midlife and Beyond

Honest, warm and intelligent writing for women ready to stop abandoning themselves for love.

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Honest. Warm. No Nonsense.

Clinical insight, lived experience and a very Scottish refusal to dress things up in nonsense.

Women Were Taught to Make Love the Whole Story

Most women are not consciously choosing to organise their lives around men. They are responding to a story they absorbed long before they had the language to question it.

Be chosen. Be desirable. Make the marriage work. Stay nice. Stay calm. Stay reasonable.

Then midlife arrives. And the story begins to feel less convincing. This book is about that contradiction.

This Book Is For You If...

  • You understand your patterns but still repeat them.
  • You are financially independent but still notice the old pull towards being chosen.
  • You are married or partnered and want to stay without disappearing.
  • You are divorced and doing well, but still feel the social sting sometimes.
  • You are dating again and wondering how grown adults can make communication so hard.
  • You can manage everything, but one uncertain relationship can still knock you sideways.

This Is Not an Anti-Men Book

I like men. I date men. I fancy men. I believe good men exist. I believe love can be beautiful, steady, sexy, funny and deeply nourishing.

The problem is when love becomes the place a woman goes to prove she is enough. When being chosen becomes evidence that her life is working.

Love is welcome in the story. It just does not get to be the whole plot.

The Life You Didn't Plan book cover
Cheryl Kennedy MacDonald
Cheryl Kennedy MacDonald
Inside the Book
Eight chapters. Every one of them honest.
  • 01Why women were taught to make love the whole story
  • 02Love, attachment and self-worth
  • 03Money as calm
  • 04Friendship as infrastructure
  • 05Dating without panic
  • 06Staying without disappearing
  • 07Aloneness without catastrophe
  • 08Sex, ageing and self-respect
A Relationship Was Never Meant to Hold the Whole Structure
A full life needs more than one place to stand.
  • Self-trustThe ability to hear yourself clearly and believe what you know.
  • MoneyNot as status, but as calm, choice and dignity.
  • FriendshipThe women who remind you who you are when you forget.
  • PurposeThe work, creativity or contribution that belongs to you.
  • HealthThe body, mind and nervous system that carry you through.
  • HomeA place, inside and outside yourself, where you feel rooted.
  • RomanceBeautiful and welcome. But no longer responsible for your entire identity.
Download the Free Audit
The Life You Didn't Plan Self-Audit
A psychotherapist's reflection guide for women rethinking love, identity and self-worth in midlife.
A structured reflection tool to help you notice where love, men, marriage or being chosen may still be carrying too much psychological weight. Not a test. Not a diagnosis. A starting point.

You will also receive occasional emails from Cheryl about women's wellbeing, relationships, self-worth and the book launch. Unsubscribe at any time.

Cheryl Kennedy MacDonald

About Cheryl

Cheryl Kennedy MacDonald is a BACP-accredited psychotherapist, women's wellbeing expert, founder of YogaBellies and author of 14 books on women's health, yoga, birth, embodiment and midlife wellbeing.

Born in Glasgow and shaped by a lineage of fiercely self-sufficient Scottish women, Cheryl has spent more than 20 years supporting women through the powerful, messy transitions of real life: motherhood, relationships, divorce, ageing, self-worth, sexuality, identity, perimenopause and the question of who a woman becomes when she stops organising herself around everyone else.

Her work brings together psychotherapy, women's wellbeing, body-based wisdom, lived experience and a sharp, warm, very Scottish refusal to dress things up in nonsense.

BACP Accredited SAC Registered Certified Sex & Couples Therapist

A note from me

I wrote this book because I have sat with too many brilliant women who can run a business, a family, a home, a crisis and everyone else's emotional weather, but still find themselves unsettled by love.

Not because they are foolish. Because the stories women inherit around love, marriage, desirability, self-worth and being chosen run very deep. And I know that woman because I have been her too.

This is not written from some perfect, detached, "I have transcended all this" place. God, no. It is written from the reality of being a woman, a mother, a psychotherapist, a divorced woman, a dating woman, a midlife woman — and someone who has spent decades listening to what women say when the room is safe enough for the truth.

I do not want women to stop loving. I want women to stop abandoning themselves in order to be loved. That is the difference.

Cheryl xx

Early Praise

"Cheryl names something many women have felt for years but have never quite had the language for. Sharp, honest and genuinely freeing."
— Sarah M., therapist and reader, London
"Warm, direct and without any nonsense. This book held a mirror up to patterns I thought I had dealt with. Turns out I had just become better at describing them."
— Rachel T., business owner, Edinburgh
"Finally, a book that does not tell women to want less or love differently. It asks something more interesting: what would your life look like if love was one part of it, not the whole thing?"
— Nadia K., coach and early reader, Singapore

Be First to Know When The Life You Didn't Plan Is Available

Coming August 2026.

For women who want to enjoy love without making it their whole identity.

For women who are ready to build a life with more than one pillar.

For women who are done disappearing inside the story they were sold.

Pre-order link added as soon as the book is live on Amazon.

Media, Podcast and Speaking Enquiries

Cheryl is available for interviews, podcast conversations, features and speaking opportunities around the themes of the book.

  • Why women were taught to make love the whole story
  • Why professional women still centre men
  • Why being chosen is not the same as being free
  • Why money is psychological safety for women
  • Why friendship is emotional infrastructure
  • How to date without panic after 40
  • Why midlife is a chance to rewrite the inherited story
  • Why this is an anti-self-abandonment book, not an anti-men book

For media, podcast and speaking enquiries, please contact Kat Adams:

katadamspr@outlook.com

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this book only for divorced or single women? +
No. This book is for women in all relationship statuses: married, divorced, single, dating, separated, never married, or somewhere in between. It is not about whether you are in a relationship. It is about whether love has been asked to carry too much of your identity, safety and self-worth.
Is this book anti-men? +
Absolutely not. You can enjoy men, love men, date men, marry men and build a life with men while still refusing to make them the whole story. This book is about no longer abandoning yourself for love.
Is this a self-help book? +
It is psychological non-fiction with practical reflection woven through it. It includes personal story, clinical insight, cultural analysis and grounded questions women can use to examine the relational scripts they inherited. Helpful, yes. Fluffy, no.
Is it specifically about midlife? +
Midlife is often when women begin to question the story they have been living inside. The book will especially resonate with women in their late 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond — but the ideas are relevant to any woman ready to stop organising her life around romantic validation.
When is the book released and where can I buy it? +
The book is planned for release in August 2026 and will be available through Amazon and selected online retailers. Join the book list above to be first to know when it goes live.

The story can be rewritten

A life with love in it. Pleasure in it. Money in it. Friendship in it. Purpose in it. Self-respect in it. Men in it, perhaps. But no longer men at the centre of everything.

This is not about giving up on love. It is about building a life strong enough that love can be chosen freely. That is where it gets interesting.

ADHD and Sleep: Tips for Getting a Good Night’s Rest

ADHD and Sleep: Tips for Getting a Good Night’s Rest

Living with ADHD often means dealing with sleep disturbances. Whether it’s difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up feeling unrested, these issues can significantly impact your daily life. Fortunately, there are effective strategies to help improve your sleep quality and ensure you get a good night’s rest despite ADHD challenges.

Understanding ADHD and Sleep Issues

ADHD can affect sleep in various ways:

  • Difficulty Falling Asleep: Racing thoughts and hyperactivity can make it hard to wind down at night.
  • Restless Sleep: Frequent waking or poor sleep quality can leave you feeling tired in the morning.
  • Irregular Sleep Patterns: Inconsistent sleep schedules and difficulty waking up can disrupt your daily routine.

Addressing these issues requires a combination of good sleep hygiene, lifestyle adjustments, and possibly medical intervention.

Practical Tips for Improving Sleep Quality

Here are several strategies to help you achieve better sleep:

1. Establish a Consistent Sleep Routine

Creating a regular sleep schedule can help regulate your internal clock:

  • Set a Regular Bedtime: Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends.
  • Wind Down Before Bed: Establish a calming pre-sleep routine, such as reading a book, taking a warm bath, or practicing relaxation techniques.

2. Create a Sleep-Friendly Environment

Your bedroom environment plays a crucial role in promoting good sleep:

  • Keep it Cool and Dark: Ensure your room is dark, cool, and quiet. Consider using blackout curtains and white noise machines if needed.
  • Comfortable Bedding: Invest in a comfortable mattress and pillows to support restful sleep.

3. Limit Screen Time Before Bed

Exposure to screens can interfere with your body’s natural sleep cycle:

  • Avoid Electronics: Turn off TVs, computers, and smartphones at least an hour before bed.
  • Blue Light Filters: Use blue light filters on your devices if you must use them before bedtime.

4. Watch What You Eat and Drink

Dietary habits can significantly impact your sleep quality:

  • Avoid Stimulants: Reduce caffeine and nicotine intake, especially in the hours leading up to bedtime.
  • Eat Light in the Evening: Avoid heavy meals late at night. Opt for light, healthy snacks if you’re hungry before bed.

5. Exercise Regularly

Physical activity can help you fall asleep faster and enjoy deeper sleep:

  • Daily Exercise: Engage in regular exercise, but try to finish your workout several hours before bedtime.
  • Relaxing Activities: Consider incorporating calming exercises like yoga or stretching into your routine.

6. Manage Stress and Anxiety

Stress and anxiety can exacerbate sleep problems, so it’s essential to address these issues:

  • Relaxation Techniques: Practice mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, or meditation to calm your mind before bed.
  • Professional Support: If stress and anxiety are significant issues, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor.

When to Seek Professional Help

If sleep problems persist despite your best efforts, it might be time to seek professional advice:

  • Medical Evaluation: A healthcare provider can assess for underlying sleep disorders or other medical conditions.
  • Sleep Studies: In some cases, a sleep study might be recommended to diagnose issues like sleep apnea.
  • Medication Review: If you’re taking ADHD medication, discuss its impact on your sleep with your doctor. Adjustments in dosage or timing might be necessary.

Improving sleep quality with ADHD is a challenge, but it’s achievable with the right strategies and support. By establishing a consistent sleep routine, creating a sleep-friendly environment, limiting screen time, watching your diet, exercising regularly, and managing stress, you can significantly enhance your sleep quality. Remember, seeking professional help when needed is crucial to addressing persistent sleep issues.

A good night’s rest is vital for overall well-being and managing ADHD symptoms effectively. By prioritizing sleep and implementing these practical tips, you can wake up feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the day.

If you have any questions or need further information, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional advice. Managing ADHD and improving sleep is a journey, but with the right tools and support, it’s a journey you don’t have to take alone.