New book coming August 2026: The Life You Didn't Plan Join the book list
Cheryl Kennedy MacDonald / Coming August 2026
The Life You Didn't Plan
Why Women Were Taught to Make Love the Whole Story and How to Rewrite It
For women who have done the work, built the life, and still find love, men, marriage or being chosen taking up more room than they would like to admit.
You may be clever, capable, financially independent and emotionally literate. You may know all the right words: boundaries, attachment, self-worth, nervous system, patterns.
And still, one silence can unsettle you.
Coming August 2026 · Available on Amazon
"Love is welcome in the story. It just does not get to be the whole plot."
Deeply Researched
The cultural, family and psychological scripts that teach women to make love the whole story.
Psychologically Grounded
Insight into attachment, self-worth and nervous system patterns that live in the body long after the mind knows better.
For Women in Midlife and Beyond
Honest, warm and intelligent writing for women ready to stop abandoning themselves for love.
Honest. Warm. No Nonsense.
Clinical insight, lived experience and a very Scottish refusal to dress things up in nonsense.
Women Were Taught to Make Love the Whole Story
Most women are not consciously choosing to organise their lives around men. They are responding to a story they absorbed long before they had the language to question it.
Be chosen. Be desirable. Make the marriage work. Stay nice. Stay calm. Stay reasonable.
Then midlife arrives. And the story begins to feel less convincing. This book is about that contradiction.
This Book Is For You If...
- You understand your patterns but still repeat them.
- You are financially independent but still notice the old pull towards being chosen.
- You are married or partnered and want to stay without disappearing.
- You are divorced and doing well, but still feel the social sting sometimes.
- You are dating again and wondering how grown adults can make communication so hard.
- You can manage everything, but one uncertain relationship can still knock you sideways.
This Is Not an Anti-Men Book
I like men. I date men. I fancy men. I believe good men exist. I believe love can be beautiful, steady, sexy, funny and deeply nourishing.
The problem is when love becomes the place a woman goes to prove she is enough. When being chosen becomes evidence that her life is working.
Love is welcome in the story. It just does not get to be the whole plot.
Inside the Book
Eight chapters. Every one of them honest.
- 01Why women were taught to make love the whole story
- 02Love, attachment and self-worth
- 03Money as calm
- 04Friendship as infrastructure
- 05Dating without panic
- 06Staying without disappearing
- 07Aloneness without catastrophe
- 08Sex, ageing and self-respect
A Relationship Was Never Meant to Hold the Whole Structure
A full life needs more than one place to stand.
- Self-trustThe ability to hear yourself clearly and believe what you know.
- MoneyNot as status, but as calm, choice and dignity.
- FriendshipThe women who remind you who you are when you forget.
- PurposeThe work, creativity or contribution that belongs to you.
- HealthThe body, mind and nervous system that carry you through.
- HomeA place, inside and outside yourself, where you feel rooted.
- RomanceBeautiful and welcome. But no longer responsible for your entire identity.
Download the Free Audit
The Life You Didn't Plan Self-Audit
A psychotherapist's reflection guide for women rethinking love, identity and self-worth in midlife.
A structured reflection tool to help you notice where love, men, marriage or being chosen may still be carrying too much psychological weight. Not a test. Not a diagnosis. A starting point.
You will also receive occasional emails from Cheryl about women's wellbeing, relationships, self-worth and the book launch. Unsubscribe at any time.
About Cheryl
Cheryl Kennedy MacDonald is a BACP-accredited psychotherapist, women's wellbeing expert, founder of YogaBellies and author of 14 books on women's health, yoga, birth, embodiment and midlife wellbeing.
Born in Glasgow and shaped by a lineage of fiercely self-sufficient Scottish women, Cheryl has spent more than 20 years supporting women through the powerful, messy transitions of real life: motherhood, relationships, divorce, ageing, self-worth, sexuality, identity, perimenopause and the question of who a woman becomes when she stops organising herself around everyone else.
Her work brings together psychotherapy, women's wellbeing, body-based wisdom, lived experience and a sharp, warm, very Scottish refusal to dress things up in nonsense.
A note from me
I wrote this book because I have sat with too many brilliant women who can run a business, a family, a home, a crisis and everyone else's emotional weather, but still find themselves unsettled by love.
Not because they are foolish. Because the stories women inherit around love, marriage, desirability, self-worth and being chosen run very deep. And I know that woman because I have been her too.
This is not written from some perfect, detached, "I have transcended all this" place. God, no. It is written from the reality of being a woman, a mother, a psychotherapist, a divorced woman, a dating woman, a midlife woman — and someone who has spent decades listening to what women say when the room is safe enough for the truth.
I do not want women to stop loving. I want women to stop abandoning themselves in order to be loved. That is the difference.
Cheryl xx
Early Praise
"Cheryl names something many women have felt for years but have never quite had the language for. Sharp, honest and genuinely freeing."
— Sarah M., therapist and reader, London
"Warm, direct and without any nonsense. This book held a mirror up to patterns I thought I had dealt with. Turns out I had just become better at describing them."
— Rachel T., business owner, Edinburgh
"Finally, a book that does not tell women to want less or love differently. It asks something more interesting: what would your life look like if love was one part of it, not the whole thing?"
— Nadia K., coach and early reader, Singapore
Be First to Know When The Life You Didn't Plan Is Available
Coming August 2026.
For women who want to enjoy love without making it their whole identity.
For women who are ready to build a life with more than one pillar.
For women who are done disappearing inside the story they were sold.
Pre-order link added as soon as the book is live on Amazon.
Media, Podcast and Speaking Enquiries
Cheryl is available for interviews, podcast conversations, features and speaking opportunities around the themes of the book.
- Why women were taught to make love the whole story
- Why professional women still centre men
- Why being chosen is not the same as being free
- Why money is psychological safety for women
- Why friendship is emotional infrastructure
- How to date without panic after 40
- Why midlife is a chance to rewrite the inherited story
- Why this is an anti-self-abandonment book, not an anti-men book
For media, podcast and speaking enquiries, please contact Kat Adams:
Frequently Asked Questions
Is this book only for divorced or single women? +
No. This book is for women in all relationship statuses: married, divorced, single, dating, separated, never married, or somewhere in between. It is not about whether you are in a relationship. It is about whether love has been asked to carry too much of your identity, safety and self-worth.
Is this book anti-men? +
Absolutely not. You can enjoy men, love men, date men, marry men and build a life with men while still refusing to make them the whole story. This book is about no longer abandoning yourself for love.
Is this a self-help book? +
It is psychological non-fiction with practical reflection woven through it. It includes personal story, clinical insight, cultural analysis and grounded questions women can use to examine the relational scripts they inherited. Helpful, yes. Fluffy, no.
Is it specifically about midlife? +
Midlife is often when women begin to question the story they have been living inside. The book will especially resonate with women in their late 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond — but the ideas are relevant to any woman ready to stop organising her life around romantic validation.
When is the book released and where can I buy it? +
The book is planned for release in August 2026 and will be available through Amazon and selected online retailers. Join the book list above to be first to know when it goes live.
The story can be rewritten
A life with love in it. Pleasure in it. Money in it. Friendship in it. Purpose in it. Self-respect in it. Men in it, perhaps. But no longer men at the centre of everything.
This is not about giving up on love. It is about building a life strong enough that love can be chosen freely. That is where it gets interesting.
Relationship Trauma & Narcissistic Abuse Therapy
Psychotherapy for women affected by emotionally abusive relationships, narcissistic dynamics and divorce
Relationship trauma is one of the quietest and most damaging things that can happen to a woman. It’s not always obvious to people on the outside and it arrives slowly, in the gradual erosion of your confidence, the sense that you can no longer trust your own judgement, the exhaustion of managing someone else’s reality while your own world gets smaller and smaller.
If you’ve left a relationship and still can’t quite explain what happened to you, or if you’re still in one and just know that something is deeply wrong, this is where I can help.
Why work with me
I’m Cheryl Kennedy MacDonald, a registered psychotherapist (MBACP Accred) specialising in relationship trauma, narcissistic abuse, emotionally abusive dynamics, and the psychological impact of divorce and separation.
I hold specialist qualifications as a Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician (trained with Dr Ramani Durvasula) and a Phoenix Divorce Recovery Practitioner, alongside 25 years of working exclusively with women. My approach is trauma-informed, feminist, and completely non-judgemental. I work in Singapore and online worldwide.
This is not about deciding whether what happened to you was bad enough to merit therapy. What we will do is try tp understanding what happened, why it still affects you, and what a different relationship with yourself, and eventually with others, could look like.
When relationships leave lasting emotional impact
Relationship trauma does not always involve obvious conflict or violence. It can develop slowly, through patterns such as:
- gaslighting or repeated invalidation of your feelings
- emotional manipulation, control or criticism
- walking on eggshells or feeling responsible for another person’s emotions
- chronic self-doubt, guilt or confusion
- loss of confidence, identity or emotional stability
For many women, these experiences are later recognised as narcissistic abuse, whether from a partner, former partner, or within long-term relational dynamics. Therapy offers a professional space to name these experiences safely, without minimising or self-blame.
Narcissistic abuse and its psychological effects
Narcissistic abuse can be difficult to recognise while you are in it. Women often arrive in therapy questioning themselves rather than the relationship, wondering why they feel anxious, depleted or “not like themselves anymore.”
The psychological impact may include:
- hypervigilance, anxiety or emotional shutdown
- difficulty trusting your perceptions or decisions
- trauma bonding and ambivalence about leaving
- grief for the relationship you hoped for
- shame, self-criticism or fear of repeating patterns
Psychotherapy can help you make sense of these responses as understandable adaptations to prolonged emotional stress, rather than personal failures.
Divorce, separation and recovery after relational trauma
Divorce or separation, particularly following emotionally abusive or narcissistic relationships, is not simply a practical or legal transition. It often involves profound emotional loss, identity disruption and nervous system stress.
Women may experience:
- grief mixed with relief, guilt or fear
- ongoing emotional entanglement with an ex-partner
- difficulty setting boundaries during or after separation
- anxiety about parenting, finances or starting again
- a loss of identity after years of adapting to another person
Therapy provides space to process the emotional aftermath of divorce, understand relational patterns, and begin rebuilding a more stable sense of self.
How psychotherapy can help
In therapy, we work gently and collaboratively to explore how relationship trauma has shaped your emotional responses, self-beliefs and nervous system over time. This may include:
- understanding trauma bonds, attachment patterns and relational conditioning
- rebuilding trust in your own perceptions and instincts
- working with anxiety, emotional overwhelm and self-doubt
- strengthening boundaries and emotional autonomy
- integrating past experiences so they no longer dominate the present
My approach is integrative and trauma-informed, drawing on psychodynamic psychotherapy, CBT and body-aware practices to support emotional regulation and long-term change.
A professional, supportive space
You do not need to have all the answers before starting therapy, nor be certain that what you experienced “counts” as abuse. Many women come to therapy simply knowing that something felt wrong — and that they no longer want to live in a state of confusion, self-blame or emotional vigilance.
Psychotherapy offers a confidential, professional space to explore this safely, at your own pace.
Next steps
If you are considering therapy for relationship trauma, narcissistic abuse or the emotional impact of divorce, I offer a free initial connection call. This provides an opportunity to talk briefly about what you’re experiencing and to see whether working together feels like the right fit.