I Try My Best as a Mum, So Why Do I Feel Guilty All the Time?

In this blog, I’ll explain why many women experience mum guilt, how this emotional weight affects your well-being, and why it’s important to address these feelings. I’ll also share how therapy can help you manage mum guilt, learn to be kinder to yourself, and find a healthier balance in life.

What Is Mum Guilt, and Why Is It So Common?

“Mum guilt” is a term that describes the self-blame and feelings of inadequacy many mothers experience, even when they’re doing everything they can to be good parents. This guilt often comes from the unrealistic expectations society places on women, as well as the pressure we put on ourselves to be “perfect” mums.

Here are some common reasons why women experience mum guilt:

• Unrealistic Expectations: Many women feel like they need to be perfect—managing a spotless home, preparing healthy meals, excelling at work, and always being available for their children. When we fall short of these impossible standards, guilt sets in.
• Social Media Comparison: Seeing other mums on social media who seem to “have it all together” can make you feel like you’re not doing enough. The highlight reels of other people’s lives can fuel feelings of inadequacy.
• Work-Life Balance: Whether you’re a working mum or a stay-at-home mum, it’s easy to feel guilty about not spending enough time with your children or not being able to provide everything they need.
• Pressure to Be Everything: As mums, we often feel like we have to be the best at everything—nurturers, teachers, disciplinarians, and more. This constant pressure to do it all can lead to burnout and guilt when we can’t keep up.
• Feeling Like You’re Not Enough: No matter how much you do, there’s often a little voice in your head telling you that you’re not doing enough. This self-doubt is common among women and can lead to feelings of guilt, even when you’re doing your best.

How Mum Guilt Affects Women’s Mental Health

Mum guilt can take a serious toll on your mental and emotional health. The constant pressure to be the “perfect mum” can lead to feelings of stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem. When you’re constantly feeling guilty, it’s hard to enjoy your role as a mother or take care of your own well-being.

Here’s how mum guilt can affect your mental health:

• Increased Stress and Anxiety: The pressure to meet unrealistic expectations can lead to chronic stress and anxiety. You may feel like you’re constantly failing, even when you’re doing your best.
• Low Self-Esteem: Constant guilt can make you question your worth as a mother and as a person. Over time, this can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth.
• Emotional Exhaustion: Trying to meet everyone’s needs while managing your own guilt can leave you feeling emotionally drained and burnt out.
• Difficulty Enjoying Motherhood: When you’re consumed by guilt, it’s hard to enjoy the precious moments of motherhood. Guilt can rob you of the joy of spending time with your children.
• Neglecting Self-Care: Mum guilt often makes women feel like they don’t have the right to take care of themselves. You might feel guilty for taking time to rest or do something for yourself, leading to burnout.

Why This Matters for My Clients

Many of the women I work with come to therapy feeling overwhelmed by mum guilt. They’re doing their best to balance motherhood, work, and everything else, but they still feel like they’re falling short. Therapy helps women understand where these feelings are coming from, and together, we work to shift their mindset toward self-compassion and emotional balance.

How Therapy Can Help You Manage Mum Guilt

If you’re struggling with feelings of guilt, therapy can help you manage these emotions and learn to be kinder to yourself. Therapy offers a safe, non-judgmental space where you can explore your feelings, understand the root of your guilt, and develop strategies to find a healthier balance in life.

Here’s how therapy can help:

• Identifying the Root Cause: Therapy helps you explore where your mum guilt is coming from. Is it tied to unrealistic expectations? Comparison to others? Understanding the root of your guilt is the first step toward overcoming it.
• Challenging Unrealistic Expectations: Therapy helps you challenge the unrealistic standards you’ve set for yourself. You’ll learn to redefine what being a “good mum” means, based on your values—not society’s expectations.
• Building Self-Compassion: Therapy helps you develop a more compassionate relationship with yourself. You’ll learn to let go of the harsh inner critic and start celebrating your efforts and successes, even when things aren’t perfect.
• Managing Stress and Anxiety: Therapy provides tools to manage stress and anxiety, helping you cope with the pressures of motherhood without feeling overwhelmed by guilt.
• Encouraging Self-Care: Therapy reminds you that self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential. You’ll learn to prioritise your well-being and take time for yourself without feeling guilty.

Why This Is Important for Women

Mum guilt doesn’t just affect your emotional health—it can also impact your relationships with your children and your overall quality of life. Learning to manage these feelings is essential for finding joy in motherhood and maintaining your mental well-being. Therapy provides the tools and support to help you let go of guilt and start enjoying your life as a mother.

How I Can Help You Overcome Mum Guilt

As a therapist who specialises in supporting women, I understand how overwhelming mum guilt can feel. My goal is to help you navigate these emotions, find balance in your life, and build a healthier relationship with yourself.

In our therapy sessions, we’ll focus on:

• Understanding where your feelings of guilt are coming from
• Challenging unrealistic expectations and social pressures
• Building self-compassion and celebrating your efforts as a mother
• Managing stress and anxiety related to motherhood
• Prioritising self-care without feeling guilty

Ready to Let Go of Mum Guilt?

If you’re struggling with constant feelings of guilt despite trying your best, I’m here to help. Therapy offers the support and tools you need to manage these emotions, take care of your well-being, and enjoy your role as a mum.

Visit my website to learn more about my therapy services for women.