What this means

You show some tendencies toward putting others first, but it doesn't appear to be significantly affecting your wellbeing. Being aware of these patterns is valuable — they can quietly deepen over time, particularly during stressful periods or in relationships where others take more than they give.

How therapy can help

Therapy can help you stay connected to your own needs before they get buried, and explore where any people-pleasing tendencies come from so you can make conscious choices rather than automatic ones.

• Noticing when you default to others' needs at the expense of your own
• Building a clearer sense of what you actually want
• Developing confidence in expressing needs without over-explaining

What working together would look like

Sessions are 50 minutes, usually fortnightly. We'd work at your pace, focusing on what matters most to you. Many women find even a short piece of therapy transformative for this kind of work.

What this means

You've likely been managing other people's comfort at the expense of your own for a long time — probably so long that it feels like just how you are, rather than something you learned. This often begins in childhood as a way of staying safe, staying loved, or keeping the peace. It's incredibly adaptive when you're small. As an adult, it costs you enormously.

How therapy can help

This kind of work goes deeper than assertiveness training or tips and techniques. In therapy we'd explore where these patterns came from, what they've protected you from, and how to gently begin shifting them — without the shame and guilt that usually comes with trying to change.

• Tracing people-pleasing back to its roots — often early relationships or family dynamics
• Learning to recognise the pattern in real time, before you've already said yes
• Building your capacity to tolerate the discomfort of disappointing someone
• Finding your voice — expressing needs and preferences without guilt or over-explanation
• Rebuilding a sense of what you actually want, separate from others' expectations
• Understanding how this pattern affects your relationships, work and health

What working together would look like

Sessions are 50 minutes, usually weekly to begin with and then fortnightly as things shift. We'd use a depth-psychology approach — which means we go beyond surface behaviours to understand the underlying beliefs and early experiences that drive them. This is some of the most meaningful work I do with women.

What this means

If you scored here, you've probably spent years making yourself smaller so that others feel comfortable. You may have lost track of what you actually want — separate from what everyone else needs from you. This isn't a character flaw. It's a survival strategy that made sense at some point and has outlived its usefulness. You are not too much. You are not selfish for wanting to matter.

How therapy can help

Therapy works on this at a depth that self-help rarely reaches. We don't just look at the behaviour — we look at the beliefs underneath it, the early experiences that installed those beliefs, and what it would feel like to live differently. This takes courage. It also takes time. But the shift is real.

• Understanding the early experiences that taught you to put yourself last
• Identifying the core beliefs that drive the pattern ("my needs don't matter", "I'm too much")
• Processing the grief that often comes with recognising how long you've been doing this
• Learning to receive — care, help, compliments — without deflecting
• Rebuilding a relationship with your own desires, instincts and boundaries
• Developing the capacity to disappoint people without it feeling catastrophic
• Finding out who you are when you're not performing for others

What working together would look like

We'd begin with a detailed first session to understand your full picture. Sessions are 50 minutes, usually weekly at first. I bring a depth-psychotherapy and feminist approach — which means we look at the whole of you, including the cultural and relational contexts that have shaped you. Many women find this the most transformative work they've ever done.