Motherhood and ADHD
Many mothers handle countless “small” daily tasks that often go unnoticed, like ensuring there’s enough food, having sufficient clothing, and researching the best daycare options.
These seemingly “small” tasks add up fast. For moms who feel the pressure to do it all—taking on care responsibilities for both their child and partner without realizing it—this accumulation of tasks can lead to feeling overwhelmed. While challenging for any mother, managing these responsibilities can feel especially daunting for those with ADHD. Why? ADHD brains tend to “shut down” or reduce activity when facing mundane tasks, making it extremely difficult for ADHD moms to manage parenting demands smoothly—especially if they lack routines or systems to support task completion.
Common Challenges for ADHD Moms
Here are some frequent struggles ADHD moms experience:
- Overwhelm in trying to organize all the baby’s essentials
- Frustration and self-criticism when struggling to find needed items (like a thermometer)
- Difficulty keeping up with extra laundry, dishes, and household chores
- A sense of lost excitement or energy that used to arise when the brain was “switched on”
- Challenges in maintaining kids’ schedules
- Feeling inadequate after forgetting appointments, like doctor visits
- Difficulty with self-regulation when children test boundaries
In addition to the often-overlooked mental load placed on women, societal expectations tell mothers that they should naturally love and excel at parenting. These messages can be especially harmful to ADHD moms, creating a vicious cycle of self-criticism and feelings of failure. Many parents only discover their ADHD diagnosis after their child is diagnosed, enduring years of frustration trying to manage tasks suited for neurotypical brains before receiving the right support and finally enjoying parenting.
Helpful Strategies for ADHD Moms
With an ADHD diagnosis, there are effective strategies that can make parenting feel more manageable:
- Consult your psychiatrist or doctor about medication options
- Work with an ADHD-specialized therapist to build executive function and develop skills that adapt parenting tasks to your brain
- Discuss the mental load with your partner and hand off tasks that are more difficult for you (like clothes shopping or school pickups)
- Explore ADHD resources available on my website
- Focus on the unique strengths of your ADHD brain—it has capabilities that can even surpass neurotypical strengths
Remember, even superheroes can’t do it all alone. Ask for help when you need it. Supporting each other is key as we work together to raise the next generation.
